


Imaginary Tricks

by tchaikovsky_of_words



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Drinking, Gen, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 00:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3589929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tchaikovsky_of_words/pseuds/tchaikovsky_of_words
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How do you forget about someone? Usually a party with loud music and intoxicating drinks do the same. Usually it helps with the pain. Usually it numbs my mind and I begin to forget. Unfortunately that just makes me vulnerable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Imaginary Tricks

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all, trying out to write some Carmilla angst. I was originally thinking of writing some Carmilla x Danny, but it didn't work out. I feel like most people don't talk about how Danny felt after Laura chose Carmilla over her. I felt in the mood to write something a bit sad and well hey I had a Long Island Iced Tea and felt inspired. The taste of ethanol in your throat and the post care tends to do that. 
> 
> Also please note, I didn't have a beta and didn't do much editing. Let me know your thoughts it's greatly appreciated.

The music blared in my ears. I felt my hair through my fingers as I reached up towards the flashing lights. The room was unbearably hot and my skin glistened as the lights swept past me. My eyes were closed as I swayed back and forth. The beat of the song vibrated through my body and I just let my body feel it. I felt it vibrate everything inside me and my heart marched along with it. I felt a hand reach across my hips. For some reason I didn’t care. I tried to ignore it and took another sip out of the red plastic cup in my hand. Disgusting.

I chugged down the drink and tossed it somewhere. I could hear someone grunt in protest as the plastic hit something. I continued to dance. I had come wearing more clothes, but I was only in a tank top at this point. I opted to wear my pastel jeans and chucks, I should have wore shorts. I also should have kept my eyes closed. I turned around and faced a blonde haired fraternity boy. You would have never found me at one of these parties a few months ago, but a lot of things have changed. 

He smiled at me with lust in his eyes. His hands were all over me, trying to pull me closer to him. I could feel something hard and uncomfortable ride against my thighs. I let out a sigh and tried to push him away. He chuckled and without saying anything held out another drink of the mysterious punch that was available. It was the only thing at this party that didn’t smell like body odor and emanated body heat. 

I greedily took the drink from him and downed it quickly. I could see him mouth a “Damn” and call over some of his friends. I took this opportunity to get away from him and enwrap myself with more dancing in the mass of drunken college students. I didn’t want to remember any of this. I wanted to erase everything. I only wish alcohol let me erase more, I wish it would erase the past few months. I wish it would let me forget meeting her. The song switched to something a bit slower, but still easy to dance to. The beats swelled around me and the sound seemed to circle around my head. My feet became less stable, but my body seemed to feel the sound better now. My hands constantly reaching above me and touching myself. It felt like living for a moment. I didn’t feel the worries for a moment, I just felt free.

The song ended and my body calmed down. I opened my eyes and pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail. I could see the DJ, with a multi-colored LED fox mask stepping away from his computer. I guess this party is done.

I tried to find the coat that I was wearing when I came in, but vision started to blur. Something felt strange. I had gotten incredibly drunk on multiple occasions, but this felt different than those times. I stumbled across my feet and grabbed the nearest thing near me. It happened to be another drunk person and we spilled to the ground. The brunette girl in front of me was much shorter than me and seemed to be in a fit of giggles. She was wearing a blank tank with a red plaid shirt tied around her waist. From this angle she looked like-

“Hey are you ok?” It was the same blonde frat boy that was dancing with me earlier. I couldn’t seem to feel my balance and so I grabbed his hand and took his help.  
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I mumbled under my breath as my head still kept spinning. He chuckled and there were two other guys near him sipping beers who also laughed.

I looked around and it seemed like most people had already left or were making their way out. The only people that stayed inside the trashed house were the fraternity brothers who lived there and their friends. Though, I couldn’t be sure, my eyes seemed to be playing tricks on me.

“You don’t look that great. You should stay the night with us. We’ll take good care of you, Red,” the dumb blonde frat boy breathed into my face. His breath reeked of alcohol and some type of potato chip. It made me want to puke.

I pushed him away from me, “No”, I seemed to be saying but it came out as a whisper. I had barely pushed him that far away from me. The realization that something was wrong hit me. I could normally taken down someone his size without a problem, but my whole body felt limp. I felt like I couldn’t fight back. I felt my throat close. My breathing hitched. 

“What was that Red? You want us bros to take care of you right here? That’s not a problem. How about we get you on this table.”

I tried to protest and fight them off, but my body didn’t respond to anything I willed it to do. I tried to scream. I tried to get someone’s attention. I had become careless. Maybe I deserved this. Maybe I deserved to be punished.

The blonde’s two friends picked me up and placed me on the table. One of them was shorter with tattoos covering his arms. He kept his hair unkempt and looked like he desperately needed a shower. The other guy had on glasses and was also blonde but his hair was short. He was a bit taller and a looked like a gym rat. I smelled their rank breath all over me. The guy with the tattoo began to lift up my tank and I could feel the one with glasses reach for my pants.

I felt vomit build in my throat. I could feel tears form in my eyes. I wanted to kick them in the face and run home, but my body continued to refuse to move. I could only hear myself murmur. I could barely keep my focus on them as I became hyper aware of their touch. I clenched my eyes closed and hoped to forget everything. I tried to turn off my mind and to think about anything else than what was going to happen.

A loud crash came from the front of the house and the first blonde frat brother ran into the room. 

“Run!,” he shrieked as he crashed into the room. A lamp came flying and knocked him unconscious. 

The two tattooed frat boy and his friend looked at each other and quickly went to their friend’s aid. I couldn’t see much and I coudn’t move my body to see more. I heard more crashing and two thuds. There could be nothing worse than what was going to happen. I gave up and let out shaky sigh from my tear soaked face.

“Danny?”, a familiar voice questioned.

The owner of the voice helped me sit up and my eyes immediately burst into tears again. 

“Danny, what the hell did they do to you? Fuck. Hey, I’m going to take you home now ok. Blink if you understand what I’m saying,” the voice whispered as they cleaned up my face a bit. I never thought I would be so relieved to see the person who ruined my life. She picked me up gingerly and easily, I had forgotten how strong she is. She looked around quickly and spotted my coat and put it on me. 

I couldn’t remember the walk back, I just remember feeling tired. I let my eyes grow heavy and my head resting against her arms. I remember crying a bit more. I remembered the past. I remembered how I got to where I was now. 

~

I’m not sure long I slept, but I woke up to the sun in my face. My head ached in pain and as I turned to shield the sun from my eyes, a figure stepped out from the shadows pulled my curtains out. She handed me a glass of water and pill. I took it eagerly.

She looked at me carefully and walked towards me and sat down besides me.

“Danny I-”

“It’s alright Carmilla. Thank you.”

A moment of silence passed between us. Different thoughts passed in my mind and I couldn’t find a single one to tell her.

“Hey,” she said in such a gentle voice and held my face, “you’re crying again. You wouldn’t stop crying.”

I hadn’t realized I needed this. The tears sprung forward from my eyes as I held Carmilla and bawled into her shoulder. I let out little pants of sorry to her as I sobbed. She held me there for who knows how long. My body continued to shake long after she let go. 

We didn’t question each other. She walked me through the daily steps of life. I lived that day in a daze. Perhaps, if I was my normal self, I would have questioned her motives. I just felt relief. I could tell she was getting tired from staying up all day, I should let her go, but I didn’t want her to.

“Danny, I should go. Laura might get worried.”

“I know.” I held onto Carmilla’s hand and traced my thumb lightly against her. Something occurred to me.

“Carmilla, can I ask you a favor?”

“Haven’t I done enough favors for you today,” Carmilla smirked as she leaned against my window staring out. 

“Very funny, vampire. But seriously, I have something I was hoping you could do for me.”

Carmilla turned and looked at me getting the hint that mood had turned serious, “Sure, what is it?”

I looked at my feet and I took in a large breath, “I was wondering if you could help me forget. I want to forget about ever meeting Laura or you.”

Carmilla was quickly next to me and she pulled my face to meet her gaze, “Danny. You know we’ve tried this multiple times. You just get worse and worse. If I hadn’t been at the frat house next door and heard that you were at that party, something could have happened. I don’t think we should try anymore. You’re getting more reckless and you know it worries…”

She let me go and let out a sigh. She furrowed her brows and she turned to look at me again, “Danny, please take care of yourself. You know you can talk to us whenever. We miss you. I won’t tell Laura about this, but please take care of yourself. I can’t keep lying to her for you.”

I buried my head into my hands and started to cry again. I pulled my knees to my chest. The memories of the past few months began to flood my mind again like they always do. Taunting me, whispering about things I could have had. The voices they continued to taunt and laugh at the person I had become.


End file.
